Scoopy's Notebook

Running against Jesus Christ: At a small breakfast for bigwig media powers (like The Villager) last week, Mayor Mike Bloomberg said that he expected to win reelection to a second term. “Right now,” he said, “it’s like I’m running against Jesus Christ, but when I have a real opponent who has to stand up and answer questions and defend a record, I’ll look pretty good.”

Not running against Smith: Brad Hoylman tells us he won’t be challenging Community Board 2 Chairperson Jim Smith when Board 2’s elections come up in June. The two had a very close and highly politicized race last year, narrowly won by Smith. “I think Jim’s doing a good job, so I’m not running,” Hoylman said. “I hope to have the chance to run next year, though. I don’t know of any opposition to Jim.”

Guns and lawyers: We hear East Village radical attorney Stanley Cohen will be representing a family from Fallujah, Iraq, whose relative was killed by U.S. troops in a lawsuit in the World Court. Cohen’s clients have been having a rough time, to say the least, lately. The attorney, who is Jewish, represents the political wing of Hamas, whose number one and two leaders Sheik Ahmed Yassin and Abdel-Aziz al-Rantissi were both assassinated by the Israelis in the span of the last two months.

Good one! Councilmember Margarita Lopez has a good joke she’s telling. “Do you know who the biggest motivational speaker in the United States today is?” she asks. “Bush!” “Keep motivating us!” she adds after the punch line.

Drinkers against W: On Mon., May 17 from 1-9 p.m., bartenders at d.b.a., at 41 First Ave., between Second and Third Sts., will be donating all their tips to the John Kerry campaign. “This grassroots fundraiser is one of the few ways these folks believe they can help remove George W. Bush from the White House. We hope for a great deal of support from our Village neighbors and friends!” the barkeeps said in their e-mail pitching the event.

Unplanned panic: We hear a moment of panic broke out en route to the pro-choice rally in Washington, D.C., last Sunday when a 6-year-old girl was reported missing on one of the Planned Parenthood trains. All the trains were held for a half hour as Representative Jerrold Nadler, the marshal for the trains, paced the platforms talking to Amtrak personnel. The girl was eventually found in Baltimore.

Stones story: So this is the final word on the missing Charles Lane cobblestones. Jennifer Givner, our favorite Department of Buildings spokesperson, tells us that Alexico, the developer that’s building 165 Charles Street, Richard Meier’s new tower, has to put back the missing stones “in kind,” meaning they don’t have to be the original stones, but that they have to match what was there as closely as possible. If the developer fails to do so, they can be slapped with a fine for “work not conforming to permit” of up to $2,500. Alexico didn’t say if they still have the original stones, only that they plan to “follow Department of Buildings regulations.”

Just friends: Arthur Stoliar of Jane St. said he was surprised to read in last week’s article on Barbara Zellman’s horrifying attack on Miriam Sarzin at 61 Jane St. that he and Sarzin were described by some to have been “close.” “We’re friends and neighbors. That’s it,” Stoliar told The Villager last week. “We stop on the street and say Hi, occasionally go to a Jane St. meeting, talk about things at Beatrice Inn. She’s active on the block, so I’m friends with her. We were never on a date…what can I say?” There’s no question, however, that Stoliar has an abundance of female admirers on the street.

Off-duty lawsuit? We hear there’s a rumor the city may file a lawsuit in response after the City Council passes Councilmember David Yassky’s bill in a few weeks in support of allowing off-duty police officers to be hired to patrol in front of bars to control nighttime noise. Police Commissioner Ray Kelly has voiced strong opposition to the idea in the past.