‘Twas the twilight of Bloomberg, when in Gracie Mansion,
No next tenant was stirring; he had yet to be sworn in.
Four stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes the de Blasios soon would be there.
Throughout New York City, children slept in their beds;
While visions of Universal Pre-K danced in their heads.
And I, keeping vigil for the next morning’s oath,
Knew we’d soon have a new guy — for two terms, at the most!
When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I nearly called 311 to complain of the matter.
Instead, to the window I flew like a flash,
To scold the noise-makers and settle their hash.
The moonlight was twerking on the new-fallen snow,
Giving a fresh perspective to the objects below.
When what to my wonkish eyes it did seem,
To be a Pedicab pulled by a transition team.
With a liberal leader at the reigns of the ride,
Who was swept into office by historic landslide!
More rapid than refunds his coursers they came,
And he played that song, “Royals,” and he called them by name:
“Now, Brooklyn! Now, Bratton! Now, Cuba! Now, Castro!
On, Tax! On, Spend! On, Vote-Getting Afro!
To the left of the porch! To the left of the wall!
To the far left, and further! Now, dash away all!”
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with storm barriers, mount to the sky;
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew,
With the promise of change, for our five-borough zoo!
And then, in a twinkling, I knew I had proof,
That the man with a mandate was up on my roof!
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney de Blasio came with a bound.
He was dressed in middle-class duds, dude, you dig?
His clothes, from a store for the Tall and the Big.
A progressive agenda was carefully stacked,
In a bag that was bursting and flung ’crossed his back.
He quickly unpacked all these overdue gifts,
And he didn’t stop once (not even to frisk).
Education, infrastructure, income equality!
A budget that’s balanced, and participatory!
Affordable housing through inclusionary zoning,
And more public plazas, for leg-stretching strolling!
And just for today, here’s a styrofoam container,
Plus trans fats and cigs and a soda, sized major!
Oh calm down, he was joking, this jolly old elf.
Even Bloomy’s scowl broadened, in spite of himself.
Said the new to the old, there’s no need to be glum,
You’ve improved public health, with your war on our fun.
Now I’ll take what you’ve done and I’ll build on that work.
Then he had no more words, but his actions they spoke.
He beckoned me close, and we snapped us a selfie,
Then posted on Facebook, and everywhere-elsie!
He sprang to his Pedicab, then up with his thumbs,
To face every future challenge that comes.
And I loudly exclaimed, ere he drove out of sight —
“A new day has dawned, after five terms of night!”
– BY SCOTT STIFFLER