Mystico’s Eerily Accurate Holiday Horoscopes

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Aries 
Fight the temptation to see relationship potential in a fleeting mistletoe smooch. Lucky pole: North.

Taurus 
Don’t gulp spiked eggnog when a series of modest sips will do. Lucky Donald Fagen album: Kamakiriad.

Gemini 
Sparkle from tree tinsel will reflect in the eye of the soulmate you’ve yet to meet. Introduce yourself! Lucky dog treat: Snausages.

Cancer  
A drunken text message sent by an old flame compels you to put that thing they liked back into your bag of sack tricks. Lucky oil: Canola.

Leo 
An urge to purchase candy canes sets the stage for your greatest mid-December adventure ever. Lucky billing cycle: Quarterly.

Virgo 
Nobody’s getting you that present you’ve been dropping hints about. Buy it for yourself or move on. Lucky cane: Candy.

Libra 
A window display’s fanciful oversized menorah inspires you to think big, in matters of the heart. Lucky Streisand movie: Yentl.

Scorpio 
Shortly after the polite sampling of a holiday dish you despise, a stranger favors you with a similarly unselfish act of kindness. Lucky element: Barium.

Sagittarius 
Don’t let nostalgia for bygone holiday activities turn you into a mopey mess. Lucky Holiday Special star: Andy Williams.

Capricorn 
An active verb from that Christmas carol you hate holds the key to a nagging December 23 question. Lucky syrup flavor: Peach Cobbler.

Aquarius 
Infomercial impulse shopping is the answer to this year’s Secret Santa gift quest. Lucky number: 346.

Pisces 
Let go guilt from unkept New Year’s resolutions. Your willpower returns, with a vengeance, on January 14. Lucky shape: Rectangle.